When it comes to finding true happiness, it has nothing to do with rewards. It’s joy that guides us. The following excerpt of an inspirational talk by #MatthewMcConaughey lays it out for us in a simple, direct way. Enjoy and benefit from Matthew’s wise words.
JODY B. MILLER
If I win, I will be happy. If I don’t, I won’t. It’s an if-then cause-and-effect quid pro quo standard that we cannot sustain., Because we immediately raise it every time we attain it. See happiness, happiness demands a certain outcome.
It is result reliant. And I say: if happiness is what you’re after then, you’re gonna be let down frequently and you’re gonna be unhappy. Much of your time.
Joy, though. Joy’s a different thing…It’s something else.
Joy is not a choice. It’s, not a response to some result.. It’s a constant. Joy is the feeling that we have from doing what we are fashioned to do, no matter the outcome…
Now, personally, as an actor, I started enjoying my work and literally being more happy when I stopped trying to make the daily labor. For example. I need this film to be a box-office success. You know I need my performance to be acknowledged. I need the respect of my peers.
All those are reasonable aspirations, but the truth is, as soon as I work the daily making of the movie, the doing of the deed became the reward in itself for me. I got more box-office more accolades and respect than I ever had before.
Joy is always in process. It’s under construction.. It is in constant approach. Alive and well in the doing of what we’re fashioned to do. And enjoying. The easiest way to dissect success is through gratitude.
Thanks for that which we do have, for what is working. Appreciating the simple things we sometimes take for granted. We give thanks for these things and that gratitude reciprocate. Creating more to be thankful.
It’s, really simple and it works. I’m, not saying be in denial of your failures. No, we can learn from them too, but only if we look at them constructively. As a means to reveal what we are good at – what we can get better at – what we do succeed at.
We try our best.. We don’t always do our best., And since we are the architects of our own lives, let’s study the habits, the practices, the routines that we have that lead to and feed our success.
Our joy, our honest pain, our laughter, our earned tears. Let’s dissect that and give thanks for those things. And when we do that, guess what happens? We get better at them. And we have more to dissect.
It’s a get-rich-quick on the Internet riches, 15 minutes of fame world that we live in and we see it every day., But we all want to succeed. So the question that we’ve got to ask ourselves is what success is to us?
What success is to you? Is it more money? That’s fine. I got nothing against money.. Maybe it’s, a healthy family.. Maybe it’s, a happy marriage.. Maybe it’s to help others to be famous or to be spiritually sound.
To leave the world a little bit better place than you found. It. Continue to ask yourself that question. Now your answer may change over time and that’s fine.. But do yourself this favor., Whatever your answer is don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul.
Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.
Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave., Take the hill, but first answer that question.. What’s my hill? For me, it’s, a measurement of five things..
- Fatherhood.
- Good husband.
- Health: mind, body and spirit
- Career and..
- Friendships.
These are what’s important to me in my life. Right now., because I want to keep all five in healthy shape., And I know that if I don’t take care of them, if I don’t keep up maintenance on them, one of them is gonna get weak. It’s gonna dip too deep into the debit section. It’s going to go bankrupt. It’s gonna get sick. Die.. So first we have to define success for ourselves.
And then we have to put in our work to maintain it. Take that daily tally. Tend our guardian. Keep the things that are important to us in good shape.
Defining ourselves by what we are not is the first step that leads us to really knowing who we are.
You know that group of friends that you hang out with that really might not bring out the best in you? You know they gossip too much or they’re kind of shady? They really aren’t gonna be there for you in a pinch.
Or how about that bar that we keep going to… That we always seem to have the worst hangover from. Or that computer screen. Right. The computer screen that keeps giving us an excuse not to get out of the house and engage with the world and get some real human interaction.
I bet that food that we keep eating tastes so good going down, but it makes us feel like crap. The next week we feel lethargic and we keep putting on weight.
Those people, those places, those things…
STOP GIVING THEM YOUR TIME AND ENERGY. Just don’t go there. I mean put them down. And when you do this, when you do put them down, when you quit going in there, you inadvertently find yourself spending more time and in more places that are healthy for you. That bring you more joy. Why? Because you just eliminated the who’s, the where the what’s that were keeping you from your identity…
Knowing who we are is hard. It’s hard. So give yourself a break. Eliminate who you are not first and you’re gonna find yourself where you need to be.
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Take the lid off the man-made routes that we put above ourselves and always play like an underdog.
